A New Beginning
Much Love to you All…there is nothing like a New Year to bring Renewed Hope and a sense of starting over….A New Beginning.
I have been absent for some time now…unable to collect my thoughts any further than basic survival to be Truthful. Some days my goal has been to eat a meal, care for the dog and possibly get a shower OR do dishes (both would be too much). Some days I am napping after being awake for just a few hours as the exhaustion envelops me like a thick fog. I seem to have lost my Muchness for awhile and yet getting through those times takes Great Muchness indeed!
My body is having some challenging moments…and sometimes it manages me more than I manage it. It is a new adventure every day…sometimes Joyful…sometimes Utter Despair…yet Life continues and challenges come and go. Sometimes they stay regardless of what you do or don’t do.
I would like to take a moment to apologize to a lot of people. Having been an RN for 20 years, studying “Eastern” philosophies, homeopathy, essential oils, herbs and being Energy Sensitive my entire life…I’ve given a LOT of advice. I’m Sorry.
It is so easy to have experiences, witness things in ourselves and others and come to “conclusions” that “this” is the challenge…and “this” is the solution…whether it be nutritional, herbal, vibrational, physical, spiritual, emotional, energetic or mindset. I now know, through my own healing experience, that I have been nothing short of cruel at times…Well meaning?
Always…but cruel nonetheless.
It’s kind of like being pregnant and knowing all the things that you Will and Wont do with “your” child…until you have one and reality sets in LOL Sure you manage not to abuse the kid but you
gain much respect for your parents or guardians as you come face to face with some of the most challenging moments of your life.
We All think we’re helping, but often we’re not. We can be intuitive and “see” , we can be knowledgeable, experienced, we can even be empathic…yes we can “feel” some of it…but not all of it. We are humans and our perceptions are often guided more by our mind than by our soul. Often we “compare” our experience to theirs but sometimes that’s like comparing a hampster to a wolverine.
Short of a Vulcan mindmeld, there is no way for a person to be able to share ALL of the contributing factors which sometimes are not even in their conscious knowing…and unless we somehow have total recall of all of their experiences, our “impressions” often leave a few things out. We also have no idea what purpose that serves for them. We have no idea if “Healing” is in their best interest because we don’t know what inner growth will come of it.
The Truth is…I don’t know what the plan is for us. I don’t know what will work or even if its supposed to work for you or me LOL I Believe that We are meant to experience Life…and that seems to entail many things. As much as I Envision my Life and set my intentions it plays out more like a daily experiment…Adding this, taking that away, finding more ways to feel better, focusing, listening, distracting, resting, rising to the occasion, honoring my needs, pushing through and then collapsing from exhaustion.
I thought that I could just focus on the Life I wish to Live and ignore the rest…that it would all vanish without attention to it. That seems to be the Sage advice for some time now…but my body didn’t like being ignored and it rallyed! It’s like a small child that is demanding attention and will scream louder and louder…even holding its breath…I’m still waiting for it to pass out LOL.
Why am I writing all this? Because I know there are so many of us out there…SO many with various “labels” and “conditions” that we are living with, surviving with. Some would say, “Well, if you just dont accept that label or condition, it won’t effect you!” Ok…riiiight…Believe me there are a lot of labels that I don’t believe in and most that I encourage people to refute but denial does not guarantee a cure and in fact may be very detrimental allowing conditions to worsen unattended.
In fact, most of us have taken that approach for many years to wind up where we are. Once in the midst of collapse, we have stretched in every direction. We’ve read the books, watched the videos, been to the seminars. We’ve been psychoanalyzed, hynotized and rebirthed. We’ve stepped into our pain and questioned it at length…we’ve been in body…out of body…we’ve sought help from Doctors, Shamans and other Dimensions…we’ve explored our Akash…We’ve focused on Healing only to find we create more to Heal…
We’ve focused on Wellness only to find ourselves deep in the well, drowning in our own denial. We’ve raised our vibration and dropped our beliefs…forgiven our past and visualized our future. We’ve come into the NOW only to find, it’s almost too much to bear at times. I know…pain is inevitable…suffering is optional…but evidently, suffering serves too or it wouldn’t exist.
Don’t get me wrong, I know how imperative mindset is. I know we have the choice in any moment to resist or receive. If we can’t change the situation, we can choose to change our perception about it…and perception is everything.
Those moments when our pain consumes us and the only thing we can do is take one more breath…then one more…we can choose to experience misery or we can take the Immense Power of that pain and send it out as Love and Peace to the world. It’s a Choice…that doesn’t make it any less painful…any less tiring…but it does give some purpose from a seemingly purposeless experience. Pain is never purposeless. whether physical or emotional, used as a step stone or a battering ram, it is Powerful!
This year I will be sharing more of myself and (hopefully) giving less advice lol, I’ll admit, it’s a hard habit to break. I have always been a “shoot from the hip” kinda girl…tough love and put your big girl panties on and all, but although there is definitely a place for it, there is a bigger place for compassion and understanding.
I have found that most times people just want to be loved, not fixed, no matter how bad off they may appear or how many suggestions we may have for them, they may just need comfort. They may just need to be accepted for who and what they are instead of given a list of ways to improve themselves (to better suit us).
The only thing worse than feeling like crap is to be told it is entirely your fault that you are feeling that way. You created it. You Chose it. Now depending on your Spiritual Beliefs, you may or may not believe that but if your friend was drowning would you throw a life preserver or stand in the boat telling them, “If you hadn’t fallen in the water you wouldn’t be drowning…should have taken those swimming lessons”….lol ok I’m being silly here but you get my point. Some of my most well meaning advice surely came across that way without me even realizing it at the time, you know who you are, I am so sorry.
I need to learn to Listen to people. Be there for them. Love them. Even when they ask for advice, not be SO sure that what worked for me will work for them. It may not…and what didn’t work for me might be just the thing that helps them! We are all expressions of God. We do not understand why some things are…it is the mystery of Life.
Speaking of mystery…I hear many “Spiritually Awakened” folks being pretty judgemental (I know, that was judgemental of me to say LOL) Just because someone is homeless, works for minimum wage, lives on disability…has health issues, a birth defect, pain or financial challenges does not make them “less” of anything.
I do not believe that having challenges means they haven’t “Awakened” or that they are paying off “Bad Karma”…they aren’t being punished and you aren’t an “older soul” just because you think you have it figured out and things are going smoothly for you at the moment.
In fact, I would venture to say the oldest souls are skilled enough to have taken on the Biggest challenges.
Yes, there are Laws to the Universe…but sometimes, no amount of prayers or positive thinking can change things. Having worked with babies in Intensive Care and being witness and part of staff and families praying with everything in our being over these wee ones, only to have them fade back into the ethers…as Humans we do not have the ability to heal at will, most of us anyway. I imagine if we did, we would need a MUCH bigger planet! LOL
No…as Powerful as we like to believe ourselves to be…our powers do have limits here, at least for the moment. “We” heal no one, it either comes through or it doesn’t and we never know why, we may have our theories but consider that our theories are based on our knowledge and experience and there is a LOT that we do not know and have not yet experienced!
All I know is, the more I know…the less I know…and things are Ever changing.
The one thing that will never change though, is Love. We All need more of it, especially Self Love and acceptance of who we are. We each bring such a Unique Gift to the World yet we spend most of our Lives emulating who we think we are supposed to be. Humans are Fascinating! Inspiring…Heroic…Compassionate and Serving…but usually those qualities sprout from the soil with the most manure spread on it…so instead of judging someone with challenges as “less than” (or allowing them to), perhaps we should honor them as the Incredible Masters that they are.
Much Love to you All…I look forward to sharing my journey with you and hope you will share yours as well.
May we All have a year Blessed with Happiness, Health & Love <3 Katherine
Thank you Wiki Commons for the image of Alice 🙂